Dead iPhone

(this is a repeat of my recent Facebook post – ignore this if you’ve seen it already)

Calling all cars - iPhone technical help required.
After plugging my iPhone into the laptop yesterday, it's now as dead as a doornail. I suspect it might be fried (it was a cheap cable). Shortly before dying it complained that the "accessory is unsupported for charging".

Anyway, the upshot is it's now unresponsive and I'm stranded in Asia for the next 5 months with no mobile. No Angry Birds!

Here's what I've tried already.
1) holding down home and power buttons for upwards of 2 minutes
2) pressing/holding home/power buttons individually for upwards of 30s
3) shouting angrily at screen
4) plugging it into power/laptop and trying combinations of the above
5) Using home/power buttons to try and trigger recovery mode
6) washing it thoroughly in soapy water

Nothing

So, if anyone out there has any suggestions that might help, please get in touch. If your suggestion works there might be a reward in it for you (not really).

Oh, and any other suggestions like, "Should have got an Android/Blackberry/Windows phone" or similar are also welcome :)